Typed by Mourad's father (Rufat) from the letter to Dina
(her post is Dina LA & Eugene, OR 02/12/05 19:47).
Two month before the tragic event.
* * *
Wednesday, August Eighteenth Two Thousand & IV
Dina, my dear,
I miss you so much it's funny...........
Is being in the military like in the movies?
Yes in a lot of ways. The details are different, but many things they portray in movies is very accurate.
It's a tuff life but in the movies there is a love story that makes it all magical.
I have no love story in my movie, so this movie really just sucks. All I have is hope, and I have myself.
True, I don't have my life, but I have my mind which no one can take.
Am I doing what I love?
YES and NO,
This is absolutely the best and the worst time in my life.
I am going to put 100% into this job for the rest of my enlistment (3 years left, yey). That way everyone come home in one piece.
Then when I'm done here I am going back to school and starting up my own life the way I want to (I can't wait).
I am only 20 years old, I'll be 23 when I get out and school will be paid for.
I am currently extending my GI Bill which will get me even more money for the college.
Philosophy of Life:
My Philosophy of life remains the way I have always seen it since the age of 17.
INZR0 is the Name and Infinity is the Game.
<--Past -8, -7, -6, -5, -4, -4, -3, -2, -1, 0 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 Future-->
Zero represents Now, the present moment which is ever flowing ever moving, and cannot be captured because it's never in one place.
Space is infinite which means you can go on forever. If this is true, then that means everything is not only possible but true.
In infinity everyone and everything exist an infinite times over.
My consciousness exists in zero (NOW) but it is ever flowing and has no end.
So what happens when I die?
Well, have you ever seen that show on TV called Sliders? They traveled into different dimensions of earth and came across all kinds of weird shit.
For example: If I get shot and die, my consciousness still exists in a dimension where everything is the same except I never got shot and die.
It's hard to explain because it is almost impossible to conceive mentally.
Basically Everything dies an infinite number of times every day. We just don't realize it because we reappear (or slide) into a dimension where we did not die.
Many questions arise. What about when the body is too old to keep the mind alive? -> infinite dimensions you could find yourself as a baby again, or a teenager.
The fact is, we "find ourselves" in another dimension every moment of time.
Anything is possible and true.
So is it possible for me to close my eyes and open them in a world of green monsters and aliens? Yes. Try closing your eyes and imagining a completely different world. Now how do you know it did not really happen? You don't. Because it did happen and does any and every moment, you just don't realize it because you are in dimension that is different.
Ugh, I could go on for pages about this shit. It's just my theory.
Anyways what's up with you? How is everyone doing? What is going on in your life and everything that is on your mind? What is your theory?
I love you with the bottom of my heart.